Sex & Gender FAQs
Same-Sex Acceptance, Oral Sex and STIs
I’ve known a lesbian girl for 2 years, as a family friend.
She did oral sex on me, and I don’t even know why she did it, or even why I’m accepting it.
I’m afraid she’s passed some kind of STI to me — what should I do about it? How do I know I’m still safe and clean without getting tested?
First, let’s talk about STI testing.
Many STIs don’t have any symptoms, so testing is the only sure-fire way to know if you have a sexually transmitted infection (STI).
75% of women and 50% of men with chlamydia or gonorrhea don’t show any signs. That’s why it’s so important to get tested.
The symptoms of chlamydia and gonorrhea in women are:
- More vaginal discharge than usual.
- Burning or pain when your urinate (pee).
- Pain in your lower abdomen.
- Pain during or after sex.
- Bleeding after having sex.
- Pain in your rectum or around your anus.
- Itching or irritation in or around your vagina.
- Unexpected bleeding/spotting between menstrual periods.
It is important to get tested regularly for STIs once you’re sexually active.
Always get tested before you have sex with a new partner. And always use protection: a condom for oral, vaginal and anal sex or a dental dam for oral sex with a female partner.
If a condom breaks or you don’t use it right, get tested for an STI. Ask your partner to get tested too. You can be tested for STIs at your family doctor’s office, any walk-in clinic or any Peel Healthy Sexuality Clinic.
Oral sex: ways to protect yourself from STIsIf you’re a woman who has sex with other women or you identify yourself as a lesbian, be aware the risks for HIV and other STIs. It’s important to protect yourself while engaging in any sexual behaviour with any partner.
Dental dams and condoms are the best ways to protect yourself from STIs while you’re giving — or getting — oral sex.
Dental dams are rectangular pieces of thin latex that you spread over your vagina or anal area.
If you’re giving oral sex to a female partner, ask her use a dental dam; if you’re giving oral sex to a male partner, ask him to wear a condom. Using a dental dam or a condom will create a barrier between your genitals and your partner’s mouth to stop body fluids like blood, semen or vaginal fluids from mixing together.
Same-sex experiences are NORMALThere’s nothing wrong with being curious about your sexuality.
Many people have same-sex experiences. It doesn’t matter if they call themselves lesbian, gay, bi or heterosexual. A same-sex experience can be anything from a physical attraction, a kiss, to sexual intercourse. Maybe you really enjoyed it, and think you might be lesbian or bisexual. Or maybe you enjoyed it, but know you're not lesbian or bisexual. Either is okay.
Remind yourself that same-sex experiences are normal. There's no rush to label yourself with a specific sexual orientation, and you don’t have to. It’s okay to just wait to see if it happens again with your friend or another female partner.
Learn more by reading books or visiting websites about same-sex relationships. Visit a community group for teens who want to explore their sexuality or confide in someone you trust.
