Sex & Pleasure - FAQs
Wanting sex
Is there a difference between wanting to have sex and actually mentally able to handle it?
Yes, there is a difference between wanting to have sex and the mental (psychological) and emotional capacity to handle it. Sex between consenting partners can be very pleasurable – physical pleasure is a component of sex. Sex can include much more than the physical component – it can be about intimacy and connection. It is perfectly normal for our bodies to send us signals that we are ready for sex, this is sometimes referred to as being horny – but, our bodies can send us these sexual messages before we are psychologically and emotionally prepared to have sex because of the physical component, attractiveness, etcetera.
But how do you know you are psychologically and emotionally ready to have sex? One place to start is by looking at your present relationship or if you are not in a relationship now, thinking about an ideal relationship. Being in a healthy relationship where you and your partner are equals, have respect for one another, both you and your partner have made a mutual decision to have sex, can communicate about your sexual limitations and boundaries, can communicate about how to deal with possible consequences such as pregnancy and sexually transmitted infections (STIs), can communicate about birth control and using condoms, and can communicate about your sexual likes and dislikes. Although this is not the complete list of things to think about – these are very important for both you and your partner to consider.
It is also important to listen to your gut instinct – if you think and feel it’s not the right time for any reason, or feel pressured or forced into doing something you do not choose - it is very important that you speak with someone.
