Communicating About Sex - FAQs

How do I tell my parents I am not a virgin?

First let’s discuss virginity. Virginity is a complicated idea. According to medical dictionaries, a virgin is a woman or a man who has not had sexual intercourse. However, we know that people have many different definitions for the term "virgin". Some people believe that virgins are people who have never had any sexual experience including kissing or sexual touching. Others believe that, even if people have experienced some form of sexual activity (masturbation, touching, oral sex, etc.), they are still "virgins" if they have not had sexual intercourse. Therefore the idea of virginity varies from person to person.

Now onto your specific question; there is no magic way of telling your parents you are not a virgin. You must decide what is right for you. It is really important to think about the reasons why you want to disclose this personal information to your parents. Pick a good moment and steer the conversation in that direction so it doesn't just come out of the blue, once you're talking about similar things mention it subtly and go from there.